Saturday - Day 237 - Family

Family are the people in our lives we did not choose to have in our lives.  We were born to share our lives together. 

Our family is a spectrum of personalities, although we may have been raised in the same culture and have similar appearances and mannerisms, we still differ in so many ways.

The unique truth about family, is that no matter what differences may arise at one point in our lives or regardless of how we may get under each other's skin, our family will always be there for us in times of need.  They will always understand us on a level that no one else will.  

I have such a large family that sometimes years will go by before I see some of them.  However, my mother, my siblings, nieces and nephews I see more often. 

Nieces and nephews are my favorite family.  They love us even if we act a little crazy.  They are fun to talk to, they are easy to spend time with, and under traditional circumstances, we get to see them grow up and watch them make their own life choices.   

I have three nieces and two nephews and I love them all dearly.  (Not counting my friend's boys who call me "Aunt LeeAnn")

My two nephews and one of my nieces are all grown up, in their early, mid to late twenties.  I was a child when my oldest sister began having children.  I've had the luxury to be a significant part of their lives, until I myself was in my late twenties and moved to Dallas, TX.  

Since then, they have grown, from pre-teens to teenagers, college students to graduates.  Now, they are young adults, and in a blink of an eye, they may be married and possibly even parents.  It has been incredible to watch them grow up.  I am extremely proud of them for so many reasons.  

My oldest nephew  is an outstanding chef.  He is highly intelligent with an exceptional heart.  Although he has a reserved side, I aways sense he can open up to me at anytime.  He was the first born, and we spent a lot of time together when he was young.  We are only 11 years apart, creating a unique bond.  I have an enourmous amount of respect for him, turning his career dreams into a realty.  It takes courage to redirect your career. 

My second nephew is slowly, but surely paving his life path, working hard to get into law enforcement.  I expect he'll be pleasantly surpised once he achieves his goals and realizes how much he is capable of. He has charisma and personality to succeed at anything he puts his mind to, but sometimes it is hard to know exactly what we want to do.  I envision his future as a confident man, with all his untapped potential revealed.  I am enthused to see where he will find himself in the next three-five years. 

My oldest niece is one of the most beautiful, and sweetest people I know. She is perfect in so many ways, although sticks to what she is familiar with.  Unlike her wanderlust aunt, she is not a fan of taking risks, a quality I have a difficult time relating to.  I know my niece can do and be anything she chooses.  In her own time, she will find her independence and when she does, she will discover how her own internal beauty touches the world around her in a positive light. 

If I have one regret moving away from New York, it would be that I was not there for my nephews and inparticular my niece.  They have grown into young men and woman.   My sister did an excellent job even when life threw her a few curve balls.  

I love and appreciate my dynamic family, sometimes more than I allow them to them to realize it.  

Friday - Day 236 - New York, NY

New York - New York.   

"Start spreading the news, I am leaving today

I want to be a part of it, New York, New York" 

memorable words sung by Frank Sinatra

Even when you move out of New York, New York never completely leaves you.  

New York encompasses all the good and all the bad anyone could ever say about a large metropolitan city.  There is no place on earth quite like New York and it takes hold of who you are, defining you to the very core.  

Each time I go 'home', I am reminded effortlessly of my old life, the familiarity of my hometown is both warm with comfort and chilly with memories.  

Port Washington, NY

Michele Sakhai Galley

I can pin point specific events, people I was with, stages of my life, all in one instant.   It is an eerie combination I can only describe as a haunting love.  

Port Washington, NY
Michele Sakhai Galley

I walk to stores and down streets with a twist in perspective.  I feel different, freer, happier, I'm a better person.  My old restricting life is behind me, trying to catch up, as more distance grows between us.  

But, now that I have more life experience, I know my previous life is long gone, never to be recreated again.

Port Washington, NY

Port Washington, NY

My old self is a familiar stranger.  She is there, but she knows nothing about the new person she will become.  She'll stare with wide eyes, wondering when will she take that leap of faith, a change that will alter her life forever.  

Change is difficult, but always worth the risk.  

Thursday - Day 235 - the heart matters

Traveling out of necessity is always a different experience when traveling for pleasure. 

Whether we travel for work or to visit a sick relative, there is a different level of expectation associate with the trip.  

I view the airlines as Greyhound bus or an Amtrak train, get me from point A to B in the most efficient, effortless manner possible.  I have no preconceived notions that it is the beginning of a vacation to paradise, therefore every moment of my experience does not need to be exciting and happy.  I don't really expect anything good or bad.  

It is in these moments of no expectations we see the most good in our lives. 

I enjoyed the luxury of having an entire row to myself, (the benefits of booking a last minute flight).  I was sitting in front of a beautiful family, with two little girls, a toddler and a baby.  I appreciated the family dynamics, allowing my thoughts to drift to my own boys who were safe at home.  

Soon after take off, a woman needed medical attention and the flight attendant made an announcement over the PA. "Does anyone have experience in the medical field?....."  In a matter of minutes, a young mother, who happen to be a pediatrician, walked past me down the aisle.  A registered nurse came to assist, the young father behind me was a Pathologist and stood up to provide his services,  a few others doctors came to the woman's aid as well. 

It was a true scene of humanity, one we often do not witness until there is an emergency.  We, as humans, do have an overwhelming need to give and care for others, on many levels.  At times it is hard to recognize and we do not reveal that side of our heart as often as we may want to, but it is always there. 

Making a decision to leave my family and be in New York with my mother was an impulse decision, one I even doubted.  Am I overreacting?  Does she truly need me, or even wanted me there?  Deep down my desires were sincere, but our brain tells a very different story compared to our heart. 

I remind myself each day to act with care and love, because these are the most difficult emotions to show, particually to those we are closest to.  We take them for granted and forgot our basic instint to care above anything else. 

I prayed for the sick woman on my flight and hoped she'd make it home safely.  That was all I could offer.  I am not sure what was ultimately wrong with her.  I overheard she needed a dermatologist and a diabetic blood sugar test.  All that truly mattered was she needed help and strangers were there to help her, and they did so the entire flight to New York. 

A police officer was waiting outside when we walked off the plane.  The sick woman was having a difficult day, I wondered if her loved ones would be empathetic to her needs.  

It is a constant emotional struggle to be judgement free when dealing with 'matters of the heart'.

Wednesday - Day 234 - Child's Play

I volunteered at James school today.  Life is easy for these mini people, they live life for the moment.  They are cute and sweet and want to learn.  They are inquisitive and easy to talk to without judgments learned over time, with age.

Thoughts of my mother come and go.  I wonder what type of child she was?  She was the oldest of five and then eight when my grandfather remarried.  Did my mother have more responsibilities at a younger age?  My mother was born in the 1930s, it was a different era.  People struggled and had hard times, at least that's what we hear.  But, what was it really like? 

Even back than, children would find happiness, they don't know any other way.  Children play make believe, and use their imagination to find things to play with.  They played stick ball in the streets, because fun isn't about what we have, its about how we perceive our world. 

Children seem to find fun under any circumstances.  They will be joyful until the moment a miserable adult tells them otherwise.  Adults steal children's joy.  We take their innocence for granted, pushing through our busy, hectic, and often stressful lives.  One day those children will grow up and the cycle continues.  Their childlike ways long forgotten, hidden beneath their own grown up lives. 

Having our own children gives us a glimpse of who we once were.  Little people who look like us and act like we once did.  Little people who teach us to find happiness in the little things all over again.  

My mother's inner child is hiding far away inside her mind, peaking through a sliver of dark space, wondering if she'll ever come out and play again.   

Tuesday - Day 233 - Fear

I made the decision to fly to New York to help my sister take care of my mother.  

My mom is sick again and ended up in the hospital.  My heart hurts for what she is experiencing.  Her emotional pain and fear of  managing her physical ailments are a huge mental stress on her well being. 

My strength and will for her are useless.  Her journey is all her own and all I can do is be there to listen, support and love her.  I can pray and wish for her recovery, but in the end she is the one in control of her worries and fears, I can not magically take them away. 

Having minimal control over her peace of mind is difficult to experience.  I want my mother to be happy and to smile again.  I want her to look forward to a brighter future, not pulled into a desperate world of despair.  

Growing old is a guarantee, however some of us grow old faster and with more worries and fears while others embrace every last day with zest.  What sets the healthy old from the sick old apart?  What changes inside our minds transforming our physical state?   

Life is a dynamic mesh of joy and fear.  Fear will overtake our minds, crippling our abilities to love, live and learn.  Fear will sneak up on us and present itself in many forms, it will come through our family and friends, authority figures and current events.  Fear has no boundaries or limitations.  

Identifying fear, and not allowing it to enter our space, is the only way to prevent it from captivating our minds.  Once inside our joyous spirit, fear is like a disease, infecting our happy life.  Fear will find us and slowly kill our spirit, the symptoms are depression, loneliness, sadness and feelings of not being loved.  

My mother has fear, how do I take it away? 

Monday - Day 232 - Creative juices.

Inspiration.  People often ask me where I get my inspiration from.  How do I find something to blog about each and every day. 

I take this question and briefly roll it around in my mind, looking for the short answer to a long thought.  

I often find myself resoonding nonchalantly, "Oh, I don't know, usually something pops into my head and I run with it".

This is a true statement, however, I find my best writing comes when I'm not putting too much thought into it and I allow it to flow through my fingertips.

I'll be inspired at the oddest moments, and I will pick up my phone and begin writing. I will save it for a time when I can reread, edit and add photos.  It comes in waves.  

There are times when I have no clue what I'm going to write about, my day uneventful.   As much as I try to find something meaningful to share in each day, many times there isn't anything new to share.  

These are the days I look within for some answers and wait for them to bubble to the surface, ready to be shared with the outside world.  

Writing has been such a positive outlet for me, I love the process and inspiring aspect of creating.  I often write something and think, yes, this is true.  Where did that come from?  And I smile with satisfaction.  

I have had friends tell me, I could never write like that.  Writing has always been something I loved to do.  I believe we all have our outlets.  Singing, dancing, creating music, cooking, working out, aspects of our career, humor, being a parent, each person has a creative force within, which is either already tapped or waiting to explode.  

Having an outlet(s) for our soul is the secret to a happy, fulfilling life.  Sharing our creativity, compounds the benefits of the creative energy.  Teaching is a great way to share our passions of the soul.    

                         What sparks your creative juices and who do you share them with?   

Sunday - Day 231 - That Special Place

We slept with our bedroom door open this evening, allowing the cool, crisp night air to fill our dreams.  It felt fabulous.  

Our outdoor surroundings were full of life, sounds and activity to lull us to sleep.  This is what camping is all about. 

This is why we camp.  The serene moments of quiet and peace are the moments dreams are made of. 

James will have his own memories and  I look forward to learning how they will play back in his head.  What aspects of this time in his life will he recall?

He sleeps soundly in his top bunk, on a hard wood frame and thin mattress.  He's a young boy without much life experience. He does not know about 600 count bed sheets and plush bedding.  

His bunk is his favorite place to be.  He will remember hanging his artwork and having his special space to be. 

  

James took this video of his "Otter of the Week" certificate and his artwork from school, all hanging in his bunk house.  Sometimes he takes sheets and blankets and makes a fort.  He'll sit for hours coloring and drawing.  He lets me read him stories in bed, but if Ty wants to join us he gets upset.  

James has his ideal space.  He is proud, happy and content.  

We have our happy place in our bedroom with the breeze. 

We all need a special place, to feel safe in our space.