Thursday - Day 18 - "The Good Wife"

My husband learns a lot after a talking to people about our current living arrangement. The most interesting perspective is always from other husbands. John has discovered most of them are a tad envious, but mainly intrigued with our present lifestyle. They also have one thing in common, the only obstacle holding them back is their wife.

Their wives can't imagine living in smaller quarters with their kids, or giving up most of their stuff (to storage) or not having a huge kitchen. There are a number of reasons that come up while having the conversation.

I find it absolutely fascinating how many women nix what could ultimately be the best experience of their lives without even beginning to open up to the possibilities.

I accept I have the ability to spin most anything into a positive, but it's truly about making the best of any situation. Having this ability has allowed me to discover aspects of my personalty I never knew existed. When my son, James, tells me something is too hard, I tell him it will get easier and to try again. Life is only as hard as we make it.

So to all the men who want to plant seeds of living the RV lifestyle with their wives here are a few rebuttals for common concerns.

1. Wife: The kids won't have any place to play.
Husband: They will have a huge playground and pool, much more play space then we currently have. Plus, we'll save money not buying chemicals for the pool or maintaining the lawn.

2. Wife: There is not enough room for all our things.
Husband: You spend too much time picking up all our things, you deserve a much needed break.

3: Wife: We won't have a full size kitchen. How will I cook?
Husband: Sweetheart, I will be grilling out every night you can cross cooking off your list.

4: Wife: My shoes! How will I fit all my shoes into those tiny closets?
Husband: We will buy an RV with plenty of closet space to fit all your shoes (this is a fair compromise)

5: Wife: I just can't imagine not living in a house.
Husband: You won't miss your time keeping a huge house, we will be too busy using all that extra time and energy on romantic dinners.
(& then close the deal) Sweetheart think about all the disposal income we will have, allowing you to spend more time at the spa and on weekends away with your girlfriends.

With each husband mine speaks to, I am magically pushed up a few notches on the best wife scale. I have never thought much about my wife market value until now as I become more desirable with respect to my adaptability. Many men may be in awe of my husband because he is "living the dream", but I simply laugh and nod, knowing deep down I'll always be his "Good Wife" no matter where we live.

Wednesday - Day 17 - Fruit Salad Trees

This morning I took the boys on the walking path to "The Mall" which is code for strip mall with a Publix. What a perfect excuse to get the boys outside and enjoy the beautiful day that was upon us, and we were out of milk.

We walked right passed the lake and through a few "no trespassing" barricades, obviously to keep the pesky outsiders from intruding onto our safe haven. The birds were chirping and it felt great to be outside.

James was thrilled as we passed by the orange trees. He picked a few mini oranges with utter excitement. He had lots of questions about planting seeds and growing his own tree.

James decided he wants to grow a tree with 10 different kinds of fruit. We named all 10, even a few that don't grow on trees. At age five a tree with a watermelon sounds perfectly expectable.

When we arrived at Publix James picked out a big, juicy peach so he could plant it's seed and begin his magnificent tree.

I told him we'd also look for a fruit salad tree. I had just learned from a friend that a fruit salad tree will grow multiple fruits at once. I had no idea such a thing existed, but now that I know, I plan to help James' dream of growing a fruit tree come true.

I think planting seeds and growing fruit is something all kids are fascinated by. I remember burying and trying to grow my own peach tree in my front yard as a kid. It never grew, but I never stopped trying.

As adults I think we also plant seeds, but they are mental seeds. We plant seeds with our spouses, our family and friends and then we have our own seeds we plant within ourselves.

I told a very trusted friend today that she could do what we're doing, and live in their 5th wheel. They could rent their house, place most of their belongings in storage and snatch up the open spot next to us in April. It may sound radical, but I know how much they truly love to camp.

I continued to paint a picture. Our four boys would ride their bikes and play together. She and I would sit outside chatting over coffee or a glass of wine. Our husbands could do whatever it is that husbands do together. Most importantly we could help each other out all the time, anytime.

The reality is they could always move back to their house if it didn't work out. I simply planted a seed. It may or may not grow, but it's planted just in case.

My husband, John, plants seeds with me often. Living here is a perfect example. I sometimes think he is shocked when his seeds not only grow, but also flourish. He's the idea man and I am the one who follows through with inspiration to build on it. The seedling soon becomes our reality. It takes both of us, but it always seems to work out as long as we are both on board and we communicate often about what we both want.

I have decided from now on I will begin planting mental fruit salad seeds and see what new realities will manifest in my future.

Tuesday - Day 16 - Dreams Fulfilled

On more than one occasion I have had to help a friend or family member understand, 'why in the world would we choose to live in a campground if we didn't have to out of financial necessity?' Of course they don't quite ask me the question directly, but that is usually the root of the question being asked.

"Why don't you buy a house? Or rent? Or When will you settled down? Or how long do you plan live like that?" As if it's a hardship.

It's most interesting to me because many people can't fathom not having a traditional home environment. For me it is very much the opposite. I lived my entire childhood and young adult life in one house. I did travel, but I always came back to one home. Once I moved out of my parent's home permanently, I discovered I haven't been able to settled down anywhere longer than three years. My husband says, "We are restless souls". But I think there is more to it.

I am the type of person who looks at an entire menu before ordering at a restaurant. It's not that I don't know what I want, I just prefer to order the item I most want on the menu. It really is that simple. It also explains why I waited so long to finally "settle down" to get married. Just wanted to find the man I most loved.

I also think that is how I feel about finding a place to live. Living in one beautiful place may be great, and I'll love it for the time being, but what if there's a place I would love even more? I haven't explored all my options yet.

I would love to live abroad eventually and travel from country to country. I would love to travel our own country and venture down to Central and South America. I want my husband and I to learn how to sail so we can explore one Caribbean Island after another.

I have lofty dreams, but I am a believer that dreaming big is the only way to dream. And when one dream is fulfilled I can move on to the next. I also believe there are those dreams that sneak up on us, the ones we didn't know we wanted. I recognize and embrace those into my life as well. Those are my favorite dreams come true.

Living in our camper is probably a version of my dream for financial freedom and to not be tied down to a house or mortgage. The other part is having the freedom to travel more often and have more time to do the things I love instead of cleaning and maintaining a home. Candidly I must admit, sometimes I do worry if we buy another house, I will get antsy to try something different and be unsettled foreseeing something new on the horizon.

Yes, renting is always an option, but having someplace to call home that you also own, like a camper, seems like a better alternative, at least for now.

My most recent dream fulfilled was to live close to my three step-children again, I didn't know when or how it would come true, but here I am, one more dream fulfilled.


The photo below is an example of a dream that snuck up on me. Meeting Sean Lowe, The Bachelor, while living in Irving, TX.

Monday - Day 15 - Jack Rabbit Run

I currently reside near the end of Raccoon Road. It's a hike to do laundry and to take a hot shower. But, it's nice. I am currently not far from the walking path to the lake and I'm an entire hop, skip and jump across from an open field I use to walk the dog.

I have been told numerous times this place clears out by April 1st and there are tons of kid activities in the summer months. Something to consider and look forward to.

I like to maximize on a good thing. While getting laundry done, I was reacquainted with my full-timer friend, Jimmy, from the weekend. He helped me out regarding tips on the washing machines I was using. "Only cold water on these and they work best on the regular cycle." he shared. He also introduced me to his neighbors. This place is one big web of networking.

Satisfied with my new found newbie status, I realized it was only the beginning. I was planning to make the most of my stay here. I'll meet and greet and learn and share. I will become immersed in my brand new lifestyle. For starters, I already know I stick out like a sore thumb; kids in tow, big crazy dog walking me and most important, my big orange jeep! I've no where to hide.

I am happy here, but I know I can be even happier. I walk with the boys to the office while my laundry is drying and make friends with Ron who works behind the counter. Ron was more than happy to circle a dozen sites for me to choose from, once this place clears out by April 1. I was so enthused I pushed Ty all around looking first at the spots closest to the showers.

Ironically the second spot I went to see was currently occupied by my new found girl friend from last week. I took that as a sign. After enjoying time with her an her daughter, it felt like we've known each other forever. I ultimately choose the spot next to her, #51.

I have a feeling our new spot on Jack Rabbit Run will be just what we need. It's both spacious and plush with trees. Our own little hideaway, near all the amenities, including the park. The best of both worlds.

What can I say? I love to live life and live it fully. I have a feeling we may be staying here awhile.

Sunday - Day 14 - Perspective

My family spent today at the beach in Cape Canaveral with my sister and her family on the beach. They are visiting from NY this week. We had a fabulous day and I thoroughly enjoyed seeing everyone. It's important for me that the boys are close to my family considering we live so far away. I love seeing them all together, lots of sweet smiles and laughter. It's truly heartwarming and I cherish the times we spend together.

As we are all sitting on the beach my sister, out of the blue, asks me. "So, is it scary living in a trailer park when it's just you and the boys?" I found her question both intriguing and a bit disturbing because it stuck with me.

I shared a few things about living in our camper earlier in the day and in no way did I allude to any fear or concern about the environment. I of course assured her not at all, it's very safe and we have our killer dog Rabbit protecting us.

But I suppose the biggest fallacy is she referred to our campground as a 'trailer park'. My initial reaction was to be appalled, especially when she asked, "well what's the difference?" But after putting her comment into perspective I found some humor in it, was she actually telling people her sister lived in a trailer park? I simply had to grin.

There's a big difference if you've ever seen a trailer park. Trailer parks are a group of mobile homes that are set up as permanent fixtures. People can either rent or own these homes as a low cost alternative to purchasing a traditional home. All of the stereotyped trailer park jokes probably have an element of truth to them.

Campgrounds on the other hand could have permanent residents, but most everyone can pick up and go at anytime. Many are used as vacation destinations. Everyone owns their own camper and people pay a daily or monthly fee which includes water, electricity, cable and sewerage, Wifi is usually free. People can also tent camp or use pop-up campers in designated areas. There are common areas, showers, a camp connivence/souvenir store. There are lots of amenities like a pool, playground, basketball courts, and the fancy ones may even have a game/pool room for the kids and adults.

I clarify this as it's important to share I myself had never seen a trailer park until I moved out of NY over 10 years ago. And I most definitely didn't understand the dynamics of campground until I went camping and eventually owned a camper.

So, when asked what's the difference? I would have to say, "If I don't like my neighbor I can simple pick up and move."

Saturday - Day 13 - Full-timers

My morning began with a hot luxurious shower. Feed a starving man a peanut and its a gourmet meal. As I made my walk at 7am I thought about some of the interesting people I have already met and wondered how many more I'd meet this upcoming week.

I already know that the retired folk like to have a good time. Plenty of laughter outside our camper until late last night. I suppose dollar drafts at the tiki bar for happy hour, combined with a live band at the pool, is enough to get any party started. I'm beginning to think this sneak peek into retirement life is pretty darn good.

I've decided to make a point to speak to more of my fellow retirement folk and learn their stories. I am most fascinated by the full timers and how they decided to stay and live forever in a campground.

John is home this weekend which is a treat for the boys and I. We all enjoy walks around the RV park together and he and I share our observations. We see lots of crafted wood signs with full names, an informal welcome to their little piece of paradise. It is both quaint and inviting. I make a mental note, get a wooden sign made for our home on wheels.

We also notice entire outdoor living spaces, laid with stones or mulch, fencing and gardens. More decorative then many full size homes.

Those enjoying their outdoor oasis wave at us, especially when they see little Ty in his stroller; the smallest resident at the park. I note expressions of joy and wonder, simple appreciation for our young boys. It's very endearing.

During our stroll we meet a nice man named Jimmy. He also had a sign with his and his wife's name carved in it. He greeted us easily and soon shared he was from the northeast, although his mannerisms and accent gave that away. He has lived at the campground for two years. I had just found my first story.

Two years ago he and his wife intended to be snow birds, but simply decided to stay after some urging from one of their children. Jimmy has a beautiful lush spot close to the facilities. He is happy and content. He enjoys racking his leaves just to pass the time.

His candidly told us his remaining children followed him here due to financial burdens up north. A clear reminder that times are hard most everywhere. In his life he has witnessed good times and hard times. He shared many things both John and I could relate to. He was witty and honest and real. But the most interesting aspect of his personality was his uncanny likeness to another friend of mine who grew up in the same NY borough as he did. It made me consider how small our world truly is.

We are all together, sharing and learning from one another. We have differences, but yet at the heart of it all we are all pretty much the same.

Friday - Day 12 - Control

By 10am today I already had plenty of material for today's blog. My life has now become a series of events with potential for a story to share.

Around 1am my chaotic dog startled me awake. Something had his attention and it was right outside my bedroom window. As far as I was concerned it could have been IN my bedroom. I gathered my thoughts and recalled my cat, Elmo. He snuck out that afternoon and I had forgotten all about him when I went to bed. Do I get up or deal with it in the morning? Just as I was about to go back to sleep I hear two high pitched screeches. It was either my courageous cat, a pesky raccoon or both. Now I had to get up.

I sat by the RV door, opened it just a smidge, and whispered "Elmo?" Then louder, "Elmoooo!!!" I've now become a crazy cat lady who lost her cat in the middle of the night. What next? He does not emerge and I reluctantly go back to bed, now wide awake.

My imagination gets the best of me. My cat was attacked, No, he was eaten by a huge raccoon and he's lying helpless under the camper. It is dead silent outside. My poor little Elmo. I am very worried as I love my cat. He's my buddy and always sleeps by my feet.

I pick up my book to distract my outrageous thoughts and immerse myself in "50 Shades of Grey." A book I vowed never to read, but became thoroughly intrigued after a close and very sweet friend shared a few highlights. (an understatement at best). I share this for a reason. I am at a point in the book in which I have discovered the book is not about the sex acts as much as it is about our state of minds. The controls we put on ourselves as well as on others in our day to day lives.

Translating this into the bedroom is a beast I shall not awaken at this time. And I'm not that far into the book yet. Nevertheless, I reflect on my reading and start to weave it into my current life.

I understand that there are times we all need to maintain control and be mindful of the things going on around us, but at the same time be aware of our inner thoughts or intuition.

There are also times we should let things go and not try to control the events that are simply out of our control. The key, as the book so elegantly illustrates, is to maintain a balance between the two creating a healthy balance of control in our lives. The male character, Grey, is portrayed as having mastered this technique but as an extremist.

A perfect example for me today was my dog escaping once again. He pushed passed me out the door as I was packing the jeep to run errands. I half heartily started after him, but with the boys in the car I let it go. I couldn't go find him, nor could I get upset. I decided to finish packing the trash in the back of the jeep and I would make a valid effort around the campground in the car. Maybe I'll get lucky, maybe.

After gathering my things I walked outside and my neighbors yelled with laughter, "He's in the jeep!" To my surprise that dang dog came back and snuck in the rear. (No pun intended) Happily panting, my lovable Shepard/Lab sits between the boys in the back seat projecting so much hope I can't help but smile. It is a vision of satisfaction for me.

I gave up control, this time, and my dog came back. Life is funny like that. I don't understand why many things happen, but I yearn to always maintain a sense of stability to keep my life easy. This is important to me especially with two young boys who have the ability to make my life crazy.

Children have a way of challenging our resolve. One vow I plan to keep is to not allow my boys to shatter my inner peace and calm state of mind, as they are learning to explore their own worlds, especially now, living in tight quarters. This will allow me to enjoy each and every moment before they are all grown up.

My sweet little men, who I hope will learn to be strong minded adults, who know their limits, and who I hope will enjoy every moment of their own lives.

Ty with Elmo the next morning!  He's a fierce cat, took care of himself.