Friday, March 8, 2013

Friday - Day 12 - Control

By 10am today I already had plenty of material for today's blog. My life has now become a series of events with potential for a story to share.

Around 1am my chaotic dog startled me awake. Something had his attention and it was right outside my bedroom window. As far as I was concerned it could have been IN my bedroom. I gathered my thoughts and recalled my cat, Elmo. He snuck out that afternoon and I had forgotten all about him when I went to bed. Do I get up or deal with it in the morning? Just as I was about to go back to sleep I hear two high pitched screeches. It was either my courageous cat, a pesky raccoon or both. Now I had to get up.

I sat by the RV door, opened it just a smidge, and whispered "Elmo?" Then louder, "Elmoooo!!!" I've now become a crazy cat lady who lost her cat in the middle of the night. What next? He does not emerge and I reluctantly go back to bed, now wide awake.

My imagination gets the best of me. My cat was attacked, No, he was eaten by a huge raccoon and he's lying helpless under the camper. It is dead silent outside. My poor little Elmo. I am very worried as I love my cat. He's my buddy and always sleeps by my feet.

I pick up my book to distract my outrageous thoughts and immerse myself in "50 Shades of Grey." A book I vowed never to read, but became thoroughly intrigued after a close and very sweet friend shared a few highlights. (an understatement at best). I share this for a reason. I am at a point in the book in which I have discovered the book is not about the sex acts as much as it is about our state of minds. The controls we put on ourselves as well as on others in our day to day lives.

Translating this into the bedroom is a beast I shall not awaken at this time. And I'm not that far into the book yet. Nevertheless, I reflect on my reading and start to weave it into my current life.

I understand that there are times we all need to maintain control and be mindful of the things going on around us, but at the same time be aware of our inner thoughts or intuition.

There are also times we should let things go and not try to control the events that are simply out of our control. The key, as the book so elegantly illustrates, is to maintain a balance between the two creating a healthy balance of control in our lives. The male character, Grey, is portrayed as having mastered this technique but as an extremist.

A perfect example for me today was my dog escaping once again. He pushed passed me out the door as I was packing the jeep to run errands. I half heartily started after him, but with the boys in the car I let it go. I couldn't go find him, nor could I get upset. I decided to finish packing the trash in the back of the jeep and I would make a valid effort around the campground in the car. Maybe I'll get lucky, maybe.

After gathering my things I walked outside and my neighbors yelled with laughter, "He's in the jeep!" To my surprise that dang dog came back and snuck in the rear. (No pun intended) Happily panting, my lovable Shepard/Lab sits between the boys in the back seat projecting so much hope I can't help but smile. It is a vision of satisfaction for me.

I gave up control, this time, and my dog came back. Life is funny like that. I don't understand why many things happen, but I yearn to always maintain a sense of stability to keep my life easy. This is important to me especially with two young boys who have the ability to make my life crazy.

Children have a way of challenging our resolve. One vow I plan to keep is to not allow my boys to shatter my inner peace and calm state of mind, as they are learning to explore their own worlds, especially now, living in tight quarters. This will allow me to enjoy each and every moment before they are all grown up.

My sweet little men, who I hope will learn to be strong minded adults, who know their limits, and who I hope will enjoy every moment of their own lives.








Ty with Elmo the next morning!  He's a fierce cat, took care of himself. 

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