Friday - Day 145 - Coast to Coast

Considering we were leaving for our family vacation today and taking our five children, of various ages, a feat within itself, we were extremely relaxed.  We were headed across the country to San Francisco.

John had a typical work day of things to do and he still had to pack.  James only wanted to find more frogs and play outside.  I had a few little things to do, apply to a few jobs, post a blog, pay a bill, schedule long term airport parking, confirm a vegas show reservation.  Nothing was of dire importance, yet it all got done.

We did not need to leave until 1:30 to get the kids.  John and I simultaneously buttoned up the camper, emptied trash, turned power outlets off, shut water, turned the hot water heater off, raised the AC and cleaned the last bit that needed to be cleaned inside the camper.  James' bike was stored underneath the camper, and a few other items were brought inside.  It all felt effortless.

The last little thing I thought to check was James bucket of frogs, did he set them free?  I checked and of course he had not done what he was told to do.  There were four sweet little frogs in the bucket.  I let them go and planned to have a talk with my son.

James with no concern whatsoever told me he had let the frogs free.  I threatened to go check and he came clean, with a few leading questions he finally admitted he left the frogs in the bucket.  My sonthe self  proclaimed frog killer.  He loves those little jumpers and I'm not sure he understood the true fate of his friends by leaving them in the bucket for ten days with no food or water.  

We continued on our journey, a long plane ride a crazy cab ride and five sleepy children later we crashed in our hotel in downtown San Francisco.  The adventure was ready to begin, but only after a good nights sleep.  Dreams of frogs and campers and unusual neighbors were far behind us, to make room for new dreamswhich  were on the horizon.  

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Thursday - Day 144 - Resident Mouser

I am an official Florida resident today.  I had my old Florida licensed reissued with my current address, at the campground.   All I needed was two proofs of paper with the campground address.

I used my recept for July's payment and I used a mailing label from a packaged I'd received the day before.  I had no idea it would be that easy.  I also had my passport and my social security card, but those were easy to find.

The drivers license office was right near James' school and it was small.  I was the first one to be helped and the first one finished.  No lines to wait on, no fuss and I left with a shiny new license.  I should have done it sooner. 

Later that day, I had a few e-mails from my in laws.  They are pet sitting for us this month.  The animals have settled in extremely well based on the photos I just received.  Rabbit and Elmo are very well loved at their new home.  

Elmo is so happy he caught and killed a mouse and left it for my in-laws to find.  
Elmo is a good little kitty and it's nice to know our killer kitty hasn't lost his touch. 

Thank you Karen and Bob for taking care of our hairy children.  We love you.  

Wednesday - Day 143 - Santa and his Elf

I find I am most fascinated by the strange and unusual people in the campground.   No where in my lifetime have I been exposed to such interesting folk.

I've had an old guy, who resembles a homeless Santa Clause, staying right across the way.  I can see his campsite from my windows.  He is not jolly and not once have I seen him break a smile. 

Santa without his shirt,
this was the best photo I took 

He has his little Elf in tow.  She follows him around everywhere.  She is a young, round, little girl.  His granddaughter I suspect, my heart goes out to her.  She is small, yet well over an acceptable weight for a girl of her age.  She uses a pacifier.  The vision is daunting.

The two walked their dogs together, one big, the other small, just like the two of them.  One of my full time neighbors told me they never pick up their dog poo.  This piece of information made me even more curious about the man and the child.  How come they don't clean up after their dogs?  Do they not know any better?  Or do they just not care, rebels in their own world.  I envisioned what their camper looked like,  I imagined it was filthy.

 

Ty running towards Santa & his Elf,

He was fascinated with their dogs. 

I felt a deep concern.  I tried waving to them on my way out today.  Neither waved back, I got a sad, but curious look from the girl and a look of dismay from the Santa man.   I made a mental note to talk to them later.  I really wanted to get a good photo and discover their story, assuming they would even speak to me.

My hopes were lofty, I soon learned they moved on, before I had time to make good on my intentions.  I wondered where they went.  Maybe my wave scared them off.  I should have introduced myself sooner, now all I have is my mind full of made up stories about who they could be, and the struggles they may have endured.  

We all enter this world with purity, what what happens in our lives is illustrated on our faces and in our appearance.  That little girl has had a very different life compared to my boys, I could see the hardship in her eyes.  I pray she is protected and safe, yet part of me fears her life will never be easy.

From my window of untold stories. 

Tuesday - Day 142 - Surprises.

There is nothing like a little surprise to brighten our lives.  Today I had a few surprises and I am happy to have the opportunity to share them today.

I had a surprise text from my step-daughter Marcella.  She wanted to come visit her brothers today.  Her sister would drop her off and her mom pick her up.  I was ecstatic to see her and spend quality time together.

Marcella is super sweet.  We chatted about our upcoming vacation together and all the cool things we have planned, all of which she will be seeing for the first time.  She shared a few stories about her recent trip to camp.  I love listening to her stories.  

We spent time with Ty when he woke up from his nap.  We both agreed he is the cutest baby in the world.  Marcella offered to babysit Thursday while her dad and I had a house errand to run.  She is smart, talented and such an incredible kid.  I'm a lucky step-mom.  

Later that afternoon I surprised myself and made a delicious linguine and red clam sauce.  It was so good, I was a little disappointment I didn't wait for John to come home to make so we could enjoy it together. I rarely cook anything great when John's on a trip, but I'm thinking I need to cook for myself more often, surprisingly it tastes better.

Finally, after I picked James up from school and cleaned up for the evening, I got that dreaded, 'what now?' knock on the door.  It was only James.  He had a surprise and made me close my eyes.  When I was allowed to open them and I looked down and there, on the ground was his latest treasure.  A big ol' coconut he found on the ground, under a palm tree.  

My son is always coming up with new ways to surprise me.  He was so dang proud of that coconut.  He called his dad to tell him all about it.  John laughed, was quite proud and told me he should paint a face on it and call him 'Wilson'.  Now, that did NOT surprise me. 

A boy and his coconut

Monday - Day 141 - What A Mom Needs

Another day, another week in the campground.  I did two loads of lovely laundry and packed two awesome bags for the boys for our family vacation next week.  James had school and piano lessons today as well.

My day wasn't particularly extraordinary.  I cleaned the camper, specifically the bathroom.  I moved my computer for a change of scenery.  I moved Ty to watch a movie on a different TV.  I have adapted to well to life in an RV, but I do look forward to working again, as my days seem to drag a little when I'm not on vacation.

Oh, wait, I live on vacation.  My regular life is camping and avoiding strange people, yet my entire summer I have manage to take weekend or week trips away.  Family trips, girlfriend trips, it seems there has been something planned every other week.  It has been great summer fun.

This Friday, will be my last trip, with the entire family for our annual vacation with all the kids.  We will be taking the kids to California, Nevada, Utah and Arizona .  It is one last vacation, before I finally work on getting back into the real world of work.  I'm actually looking forward to a 'normal' life, whatever that means.

Stay at home moms, hats off to all of you.  It's great to be home to plan outings and adventures, to run errands, keep the house clean and be with the children, especially when they are still babies.  Personally, now that Ty is closing in on his second year, I am all for being a working girl and letting a good school take over.  An environment with solid structure.

Staying at home has challenges, it's unpredictable, there are no breaks and little to no time for yourself.  Life is always about the next diaper change, the next meal to be made, the next mess to clean up and the next nap.  I cherish my time at home, but I will also embrace a fundamental routine of working and coming home to cook and spend quality time with the kids before tucking them into bed.

No one way is right or wrong, it's only about what's right for each individual person and it's all about good timing.  Here's a link to an interesting article in More Magazine about moms and their life choices.

Battle of the Mommies

Just when I thought my day was pretty much over, it became interesting.  There was a knock at the RV door.  James met new friends, three sweet children and their mom were at my door.  My first impression, they look 'normal'.  The mother was kind enough to introduce herself to me and check in about James playing with her kids.  She had no idea how welcomed her gesture was.  She was genuinely interested when I revealed we were full timers.  Some people find this fascinating, she had no idea how she suddenly made my uneventful, typical day a little more interesting.  

I will be certain to make a trip to the pool tomorrow and talk to her more, at the very least to thank her.  James told me she walked him home after he played with the kids, before it turned dark.  My mommy alerts were calm, collective, and reassured.  James' new family was just like us, on the inside and out. 

I find it fascinating how life always gives us what we want when we need it. 

Sunday - Day 140 - He's MY son!

My mommy instincts were killing me this morning.  The family James was obsessed with was leaving today and I couldn't help but think, "What if they want to take James home with them?  Maybe that's how that got their last brown child."

I say, this with pure jest, however, these thoughts really did cross my mind.  They would pack up their tents and rickety camper, tell James I didn't love him anymore and take him home.  A mother's worst nightmare come true. 

Would James believe them?  Would he go because they have been so nice to him, or would he grab his bike and race home?  I was not going to wait and find out.  My son was mine, and after checking on James twice before 9am, I knew what I needed to do. 

Suddenly, the emotionally neglected boy, who lived at the campground, didn't seem so bad, for James to play with, anymore.  I knew where he lived and his family wasn't trying to steal my son. (insert dramatic jump to unrealistic conclusion here)

James came home to ask permission to change into his bathing suit and play water guns.  He told me he did not go inside their camper, and as reassuring as this was to know that he followed the rules,  I was not going to give him any further opportunities to break these rules.  I quickly told him we were ready to leave at 9:30am to run errands before our 12:40pm movie.  It was a long shot, but I knew once we came home his new found family would be gone. 

Kittens

My mom possessiveness was on overdrive, my son was sticking with me and we left to go do fun things all day.  We went to the pet store to see kittens, the dollar store to buy candy, the movies to see Monsters University and to Payless to buy new shoes.  A few other 'mommy stops' completed the day.  James was a little disappointed when we first left, but he got over it very quickly. 

And candy....

And Monsters....

James will never truly know how much I love him, but one day he will have his own children and I will share this story.  I hope we will both have a good laugh about the day I saved him from being stolen, from the campground, by his 'other family'.  Candy and kittens saved my day, and it was how I kept my little boy close to home today. 

"Eye, Eye Captain" - - (aka Mom)!

And new shoes.... make for one happy child!

Saturday - Day 139 - A Family

James befriended a family today.  He found a new friend to  play with.  They had water guns and it was exciting and new.  The family was different from us, yet the same.  

I am a concerned parent and I want to know what my son is doing, who he's with and where he is, at all times.  If I could, I would be in my son's space every second of every day knowing exactly what he is doing, how he is acting and who he is with.  But, the reality of life is, this simply is not possible. 

I also want my son to learn independence, learn his boundaries and learn a life without mom to monitor his every move.   He is a social child, he makes friends easily and others seem to gravitate around him.  This is a curse and a blessing all in one.  

I am suppose to think the worse about strangers.  Automatically, I am suppose to think they are bad, that they want to hurt my child in some way and take away his innocence.  These vicious thoughts are ingrained in my head and with the right combination of circumstances, I will always think the worse. 

I checked on James many times throughout the day, after I was aware of his new found friend.  I was not sure about this family.  I admit, I stereotyped to the extreme, the grandma smoked, the men had many tattoos and bad teeth, the boy didn't speak properly and was a few years older than James.  The girl liked frogs and I'm unsure how the brown skinned teenager fit in, considering the rest of the family was white.  And where were the mothers?  I had plenty of questions, but James did not know better, he was happy to play and to have new friends.  My son is oblivious, as he should be, and I certainly would not want anyone judging him, I was in a delicate predicament. 

There was no mama with the family, just a grandma, two men and a bunch of kids.
The photo speaks volumes though

Each time I checked on James, he was happy and smiling, catching frogs or riding bikes.  They were just a normal family on vacation who looked different,  this was my conflict.

Grandma was a bit rough looking. 

Why is society, me included, so quick to judge others?  We are all raising our children with the best tools we can.  We all care and try to do the right thing by our children.  I talked to the boy and the grandma.  There was not anything so out of the ordinary about them, other then something just didn't feel right.  I spoke briefly to one of the fathers, I sensed he served time, or came close to it.  My problem was, I was not sure if I was sensing their self conscious feelings, about what I thought of them or if was my overactive imagination.  Life often throws us curve balls and this would be one of those times to force me to reflect.  

My son is the most important thing to me, I am sensitive to his feelings and expectations as well as my own, and this situation was extremely challenging for me.  He seemed to like this family better than his own.  Why wouldn't it bother me?  He refused to follow my directions on staying close to our camper, where I could see him.  All he wanted was to play with his new friend.  

My biggest conflict was thinking the worse, and the boy, (that James was playing with), brought James' bike back to our camper in the pouring rain.  A rain that answered my prayers, as I could keep James inside with me the rest of the evening while they played manhunt in the dark.  The boy also wanted to give Ty his toy car when we were at the pool, the boy had manners and he was very sweet in his own way.  The grandma offered food to James when they ate lunch earlier and chips to Ty at the pool.  Yet, this made me uncomfortable, but I'm not sure why.  They were all very nice to James the entire time the boys played together.  They were a family on vacation having fun.  Instead of taking time to get to know them and enjoy James' experience with them, I worried needlessly, because I let my judgements get the worse of me.  

The family was only at the campground another day.  I knew they would be leaving, and we would go back to our regular lives again.  My so called normal life.  Life is harder for some people, more than for others, it shows in their appearance, their mannerisms and the way they speak.  Their smile and teeth tell a lot, yet I often take life for granted when I don't see these things everyday.   

We all have struggles in life and this doesn't make us bad.  We all enjoy the simple things in life, like time with our family, and for the most part everyone is good.  But, what if, someone is not good, how do you know for sure if your child is in real danger?  Danger has no social or economic barriers.  Bad people exist in all forms, they are rich and poor.  We simply do not know, and the bad ones will hide their bad very well.  

I raise James to be mindful and thoughtful and to understand if anyone ever makes him uncomfortable to let me or his dad know immediately.  I feel he is a target, yet I won't always be there every moment of his life, so I keep a watchful eye and remind him often that I love him and will always protect him and keep him safe. 

I try not to take anything for granted, people are different, and I work hard to embrace our similarities, instead of focusing on our differences.  But, my mommy instincts will always take over, and mommy instincts are hard to push away when all your child wants to do is play.