Sometimes when we love someone we make personal sacrifices, but often we lose a piece of ourselves along the way.
How often do we make so many sacrifices that we forget ourselves, and do not forgive ourselves when we put others first and then feel resentful or unappreciated? When does sacrifice begin to stunt our own growth?
Sacrificing selflessly is a learned virtue many of us never have the ability to master without time to teach us the best way. Often we learn to sacrifice selflessly for a short time and than we forget when life gets hard and in our way.
To give of ourselves and never expect anything in return, even if it is only care and concern for someone else's needs, is an extremely vulnerable place to be.
It is a place we visit and then retreat from repeatedly, when we ultimately discover the pain and hardship others are coping with is too hard to bare. Or on the opposite spectrum, we must find sincere joy for someone else's good fortune.
I feel I do not sacrifice as often as I would like to. I am my own worse critic, but aren't we all? I am nice to strangers, I let one, sometimes two, cars ahead of me in the traffic maze at school, I will go above and beyond when it comes to the easy stuff. I can be pleasant and make easy conversation, even be mindful of making someone laugh or smile during light conversation. But, being polite and considerate is not true sacrifice.
We instinctively sacrifice for our kids. We may often sacrifice for our significant other and hopefully for our family. We do so for our close friends.
How often do we make so many sacrifices that we forget ourselves, and do not forgive ourselves when we put others first and then feel resentful or unappreciated? When does sacrifice begin to stunt our own growth?
Sacrificing selflessly is a learned virtue many of us never have the ability to master without time to teach us the best way. Often we learn to sacrifice selflessly for a short time and than we forget when life gets hard and in our way.
To give of ourselves and never expect anything in return, even if it is only care and concern for someone else's needs, is an extremely vulnerable place to be.
It is a place we visit and then retreat from repeatedly, when we ultimately discover the pain and hardship others are coping with is too hard to bare. Or on the opposite spectrum, we must find sincere joy for someone else's good fortune.
I feel I do not sacrifice as often as I would like to. I am my own worse critic, but aren't we all? I am nice to strangers, I let one, sometimes two, cars ahead of me in the traffic maze at school, I will go above and beyond when it comes to the easy stuff. I can be pleasant and make easy conversation, even be mindful of making someone laugh or smile during light conversation. But, being polite and considerate is not true sacrifice.
I have not taken time to truly know many of my neighbors, I do not go deep with all, but a few select friends. The ones I feel safe with, I will share advice from my own personal experiences, judgement free, but I rarely share my own deep feelings and therefore do not necessarily expect others to share with me. And in this respect, I sacrifice my relationships, instead of sacrificing for my relationships. I, of course, sacrifice for my husband and for my boys, and hope as they grow older our bonds will strengthen as they enter adulthood.
The sacrifice I speak of, is to truly empathize and understand another's life path. It could be financial woes, parenting struggles, a difficult childhood, a strained marriage, or unknown sadness. No one has a perfect life and we never really know where someone else has been. We have all struggled on different levels at sometime in our lives. Things we have done and things that have been done to us. It is all part of living our lives.
I have learned being honest with my own feelings comes with judgement from others, pity or mainly misunderstandings. It is difficult to open up when we do not know how our emotions will be received. Especially, when people use their own truth to compare to ours.
More importantly, how do we accept others' truth without putting our own personal emotions onto their situation? It cannot be done without pure sacrifice and selfless understanding.
It is true we all have hurt feelings and a past that has made us who we are today. We let those feelings get in the way of our relationships. We have all made sacrifices to get to today. We have compromised ourselves each day to be someone we think others expect us to be.
We 'sacrifice' ourselves when we should be 'giving of' ourselves without any expectations.
It is true we all have hurt feelings and a past that has made us who we are today. We let those feelings get in the way of our relationships. We have all made sacrifices to get to today. We have compromised ourselves each day to be someone we think others expect us to be.
We 'sacrifice' ourselves when we should be 'giving of' ourselves without any expectations.
To sacrifice selflessly, (give of ourselves), is to take our selfish selves out of the equation. To do it without any expectation and without compromising who we are. This is a delicate balance and it is difficult to maintain.
When we find that special place within ourselves we maintain our own integrity, without ever feeling hurt or resentful. We offer sincerity without any doubt we did so for the right reasons. We do so from the goodness of our heart, selflessly, regardless of the other person's expectations.
When we find that special place within ourselves we maintain our own integrity, without ever feeling hurt or resentful. We offer sincerity without any doubt we did so for the right reasons. We do so from the goodness of our heart, selflessly, regardless of the other person's expectations.
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