Friday - Day 173 - Tiger Mom

I suggested to a friend recently that we should read "Tiger Mom" together per a friend's referral.  I didn't have a ton of background on the book, but was quickly informed how controversial the woman's parenting style was and my friend was not a supporter. Tiger Mom My friend's strong opinions intrigued me and even encouraged me to read the book a little bit more.  I only knew a little about the author prepping her child(ren) for an Ivy League college at an early age and having extremely strict patterning methods in order to keep her child(ren) focused on education.  I knew enough to have my curiosity sparked, but my friend's opinion was also important to me.  She shared this Today show link with me to help me be better informed.  I wrote this blog before I watched the interview. I personally feel having a good balance of school and other activities is key to contributing to a child's growth, but in my mind I will always have high expectations for my boys.  I intuitively want them to be good people at heart, well rounded and as stinking smart as their brains will allow them to be.  I do not consciously think they must have straight A's or be the best at sports and music, but I would never doubt their capabilities to excel. I simply believe my boys can be the best in anything they choose to do, which results in my expectations being high.  If they do fail, I do not consider it a bad thing, it will absolutely teach them how to be better. Failure is a learning tool, not a punishment. Their happiness is even more important and in my opinion also a learned behavior. If the boys are upset or sad, learning to cope with those emotions, through communicating is a life skill.  Respecting others, acting appropriately in certain situations, having proper manners and being socially comfortably are also important life skills that compliment all the hard work they will do in school. Regardless of parenting methods, it is a role with no rules or handbook.  We all do our best and hope our children grow up to be well adjusted, happy, loving adults who will live their lives to the fullest, at the very least. My most profound moment as a parent occurred tonight.  I watched James and Ty fall asleep next to one another on the bed.  James was holding Ty's hand, Ty was holding James', as they both drifted to sleep at the same time.  I had figured out, if I succeeded at one thing it was to teach my boys to love one another, their actions proved this.  Each day that passes, I watch them grow closer with love and care. This act of care made me wonder, is love a learned emotion, both accepting love and receiving it?  If so, it is our most important lesson in life that we all will learn.  One that is the hardest to master over our lifetime, our children will re-teach it to us again and again.